blah -- mon 16 july 2001
ok, so i haven't updated in a while...i know, i'm a waste of life. thursday, i hung out with my friend ben in west orange that i met from boys state - he's a cool kid...we went to some party in town and smoked and i used a huka for the first time...ben always talks about it and it definintely lived up to it's hype...i'll hafta bring him to caldwell one night. this weekend was kinda cool too - friday i drove down and stopped at danielle's on the way...she took me to this sweet cd store that is bruce springsteen's favorite and it's where he has his album release parties and then to jay and silent bob's secret stash...now that was sweet! haha, that place is awesome...anyway, at the shore, i get this call saturday...it's matt and him and john want to come down for the day, so i ask my parents and they tell them to stay over...so they do. when they get here, we pick up my friend christine and we meet my cousin mark down in beach haven. mark won this pink dolphin from the water balloon race things and then christine went around the town asking girls if they would hook up with him for his pink dolphin...lol and the hottest girl she asked did! it was so great, right on the street corner...my cousin felt like the man. so, of course, we went back to the water balloon race booth. i was the only one who won anything else - i got a pink dolphin, a red dolphin, and a yellow elephant...three stuffed animals for three future nights. the rest of the night was pretty fun, but then sunday, coming home sucked. i was in three and a half hours of traffic, ugh, oh well. last night, i smoked up with james, kevin, danielle (a different one who shall be referred to as 'lil dani') and brittney...i shouldn't have drove messed up like that, i was numb as hell. thank the heavens i got myself and everyone else home in one piece. we went to the diner, then to brittney's sweet pool, and then i think dunkin, and then home. lil dani has been asking me to hang out a lot lately so it was cool to hang out with her since i haven't seen her pretty much since school got out. it was good to see james and kev too since i've spent a lot of time either down the shore or with kids from my church. i'm not sure which group i wanna chill with tonight, so we'll see...
my day back in caldwell -- fri 6 july 2001
so i came back to caldwell yesterday and i'm going back down the shore today...so yeah, last night, i hooked up with this girl danielle...she's really cool, but she lives like an hour away (she was here in caldwell visiting people)...i don't want to say i like her or anything cuz it's summer and i don't really go for the whole idea of being with someone during summer...but maybe that's just me. but she's cool and i know i'll keep it touch with her and hopefully it'll continue the times we see each other. after the fireworks, we went back to lauren's house and i started realizing a few things...i was out on the deck talking to danielle and i think i might be an alcoholic...i don't really know the definitions of 'alcoholic' but all i know is that everytime i drink, i get completely wasted rather that just buzzed here and there, i have drove messed up, i have drank alone, and i get in mood swings on nights i don't drink. see, last night, i wasn't in a good mood and i don't know why...but i was sitting out on the deck and danielle came out and we talked about it. it's not that i can't have fun without it - it's just that it's much harder to have fun when it's not there. and that's why i'm glad last night happened...i'm glad danielle was there to talk to, i'm glad i had a sober hook-up, and i'm glad i was able to make my realization. as for what i will actually do about it, whether i change or not, only time will tell...
fourth of july -- wed 4 july 2001
this entry's for alissa cuz she wanted me to update...i've been meaning to, but i guess i've been really busy. i think summer's officially begun. friday night i went to lauren's graduation party...we got busted by lauren's dad for taking some beers and wine coolers from the cooler, haha, but it's cool...saturday was sweet - i went to six flags with a bunch of kids from my youth group. we stayed from when it opened at 8 til when it closed at 10...nitro is the fucken greatest ride ever, i swear. ok, so then sunday came along...i went to a tom petty concert...i think it was pretty good, but it went by so damn fast cuz i was so fucken retarded...but tailgaiting was well worth it, haha. ok this entry is ike one big ramble, but right now i'm down the shore with john. last night, we went to the club. it's under new management than last year and it's a lot different, but it's sweet. we got really messed up, i got some ass...all in all, a good night. i'm not sure what's up for tonight, most likely partying...but yeah, it's starting to feel like summer...i'm happy...
big update -- monday 25 june 2001
ok, this is gonna be a big update i think...not big like something 'big' happened...just 'big' cuz i haven't updated in forever cuz i've been so busy...yeah...alright, so i guess i'll take this backwards. yesterday, i went to see 'the fast and the furious' with matt and andy. since i'm an avid movie fan, you can only expect some criticism from me. for a plotline, the movie sucked. for action, it pretty much ruled. there's this chase scene near the end that was really sweet. i'd recommend it, go see it. yeah, then we stopped at todd's house and talked to this girl leanne online pretty much the whole time...matt wants her supposedly...umm, ok, so before that, i was down the shore. me, my cousin, and my friend christine walked around beach haven at night on saturday and it just started pouring on us...at first, we were like 'fuck!' but after a while it was sweet. LBI floods in like .5 seconds, so we threw each other in puddles and jumped in them and just went crazy in the streets. we met up with my friends angela and lauren and this kid they met logan. we all just acted stupid in the rain puddles, haha...oh yeah, and we got in my car and drove up to the sidewalk to send a huge wave at all the dry people standing there, hehe. ok, one more step back - friday, lol. me, brian, and james were invited to a sweet 16 in bridgewater for girls we know from the shore. it started at 7...we got there at 9:30. it should've only taken 45 minutes...but here's why...see, we could've taken route 80 but there was that huge oil truck fire spill thing, so james went online and got directions that avoided all highways...somehow, we were stuck in the ghettos of newark for like 45 minutes! that shouldn't have even been the direction we were going it! it was freaky, 3 white preppy boys listening to dave matthews in the middle of newark...brian was making a turn and some guy just walked across the street as slow as possible with a bucket of chicken in his hand...it's mean, but we couldn't help but laugh...it was so damn ghetto...oh man. anyway, we finally got there somehow - it was a scary ride. the party was actually pretty fun...i forgot how cool the girls were, i think we're gonna visit them a few more times...using 80 though, not the ghetto route. and for the 6 days before that, i was at boys state. fucken 850 guys, 0 girls for 6 days! i was really suffering by the last day. i met some really cool kids though and some parts were kinda fun. our 'city' legislators made 'no masturbation' a legal ordinance. so, as jokes, we held municipal courts for all these kids who got summons for masturbating. see, the whole program is this government crap deal...60 kids belong to a city and we run the whole thing ourselves. so thurs night was municipal courts, and even though all the cases were made up just for the hell of it...it was pretty damn funny. we picked on this kid tim for pretty much every case. him and his roommate left their room and this kid who referred to himself as 'jim bignuts' (even when he took the oath to testify) went into their room and put shampoo on their chair with a playboy-like calendar above it, so when they came back, everyone was like 'eww man, u guys were jerking off?! call the police!' so we set them up for that...(some cross-examination questions were 'how did you know this substance was jizz?' 'did you taste the jizz?' 'did you use the same hand to do the deed as you did to place it on the Bible when taking oath?' 'or was it even your hand at all?' etc etc etc)...another we set tim up for - when he was showering, we took his towel and clothes so he had to take down the shower curtain and wrap it around him and walk out in the hall with it on to get his shit from his room while we were all lined up in the hall laughing at him hahaha...ok, so yeah, i think that pretty much wraps it up...today i get to take my brother and grandma out ot breakfast, haha, fun...
2001 -- friday 15 june 2001
today was my last day of school...i'm exempt from my math final and all i had to take was my english final today cuz i had projects for all my other classes. i went to roy roger's in the livingston mall today with 'the fam' (me, james, kim, and ali). that was where i made the purchase: "2001: a space odyssey". so, yeah, i watched it a few hours...man, the movie is still fucking with my head. the film is completely detailed considering cinematography and it's a landmark in camera technique...and as for the plot. fucken mind-blowing. you'd either love it or hate it...either way, it's unarguably a masterpiece whether it entertains you or not. that's what i love about movies...they can keep you fucked up for hours, even days, after you've watched them. i still think about the first time i saw "fight club" and tried to catch all the editing cuts of single-frame shots of brad pitt at the beginning...oh yeah, and of course that the movie was just freaken brillant and awesome, too...yeah...haha, and yes, still thinking about the concert...my mind is just a mess of so many things, i'm totally and utterly confused right now about pretty much everything...but it's summer...i'm happy this way...trust me...
thank the heavens -- thurs 14 june 2001
so, techincally, it's thursday even though it's 12:08 am. well, i've been up preparing for a bio debate. i feel a lot more confident about it, but that still doesn't say much. i just can't seem to get over the concert and the perfect moment when it poured for "two step"...i'll never ever forget it. i remember standing there, on the floor, with my arms outstretched, twirling around and watching the stadium revolve around me as i swung my shirt over my head while huge raindrops slammed against me and all the girls around us jumped on us to give us hugs of pure joy. in all seriousness, i've never felt so poetic about a single, true moment ever before. i'm so glad that happened to me. it's inspired me so much that i'm seriously thinking about writing my college essay about it. it was somehow so refreshing and life-affirming. it's like time just sorta slowed down for me at that moment and i got to look a life just a little bit deeper. i really can't describe it. it was just beautiful. nothing will ever top that moment...nothing...
dave matthews is my hero -- tuesday 12 june 2001
ok, so here's the deal...i never met up with alissa last night, which really sucked, cuz we wanted to meet up. her seats got fucked up and she sat too far away for us to meet. it would've been the most perfect night if i had gotten to meet up with her...but, regardless, i had a fucken awesome night. one of the best in my life! oh man...it was so good...let's start with tailgating at the dave matthews concert. it was the guys, me, colin, bru, james, and chris, and then some girls...i got really messed up, haha. guys r gonna love this next part...girls probably won't. so, i was with these two girls...i was really messed up, i repeat. i asked them if they've ever triple-kissed (like the two of them and another guy all hook up together in this one, triple-tongued kiss) and they said they had! haha, so i asked them to do it with me and they said yes...but first, i told them i wanted to hook up with each other them individually, lol. so i did that, then we triple-kissed in the parking lot on some person's car. coolest thing ever...happened a few more times...ahh, beautiful, beautiful. so, concert time, it ruled so much. colin and i were down on the floor and we danced with these hot college girls. it was drizzling the whole time, but on the very last song of the night, "two step", it fucken poured! thunderstorm with lightning and everything! we got soaked, we took our shirts off, started hugging and dancing and throwing the hot college girls around! it was like a movie - it was the best feeling in the whole entire world! sheer, utter bliss! i've never felt so good in my life...no exaggeration whatsoever. the crowd and thunder was so loud we could barely hear the song but i was too busy jumping like a mad man across the floor with colin and the girls. last night was, without a doubt, one of the best nights of my entire existence...
dead tired -- sunday 10 june 2001
i haven't updated in a few days...however, for good reason - prom. it was on friday and it was surprisingly fun. i danced more than i usually do. usually when i dance, it's when i'm at a club drunk down the shore...but i was sober and i was dancing and i was having fun. that makes me happy...it may make me sound pathetic because it kinda implies that i can't have fun without being messed up, but that's just the way of my friends...and that's why i'm happy i was sober having a good time - to prove to myself that its possible. it's relieving actually. anyway, afterwards, down the shore, was awesome. it sucks that my date ariel couldn't come with us, but she still had fun at the prom itself. oh yeah, andrew came to my house before and took a few pictures of us. he had to go to court (he's a lawyer) that day and wasn't sure he was gonna make it or not, so seeing him there really made my day. anyway, the hotels down there at the shore are so cool about having alcohol, it was so easy and we all just kicked back. the first night down there, we were all wasted and witnessed the sun coming up on us, haha. so, obviously, i'm running on negative sleep here...oh boy. everything so far has been goin according to my 'schedule'...but these projects are a bitch...i've been working on spanish since i got home from the shore today at noon...and it's 10:00 pm now and it's still not finished. i fucken hate work, especially when summer is so damn close. tomorrow is the dave matthews concert. i'm hoping he plays more of his old stuff cuz i've been looking at the recent set lists and i'm not too happy...but we'll see...i'll pray tonight. however, at the concert, dave matthews isn't the number one person i want to see there...it's my friend alissa. me and her go way back...okay, so maybe a year. last fourth of july weekend, i went to the hamptons in long island with my friends greg and harlan. we met some girls there (one being alissa) and have kept it touch ever since. i've only gotten with alissa twice (once in the hamptons and the second at the dave matthews concert last year coincidentally) but it's more than that i guess...it's tough to explain / understand, but i like it that way. if she didn't live like an hour away and in a different state, we'd probably be going out. it's one of those things. she's one of those people in my life who i can always picture there with me. who knows how many kids from school i'll keep it touch with during college? but with alissa, it's like we're already far enough from each other location-wise and we still talk a ton...i don't see how that should change in years to come...i certainly don't want it to...
2 days before prom weekend -- wed 6 june 2001
so, in the midst of figuring out when to work on my group final exam projects, i realized, i just don't have any time! i wrote down my schedule for the next week and showed my friends...here is my end of junior year:
thurs
3-4 bio project
4 tanning
4:30 haircut
5 - tux pick-up
5:30-6:30 bio proj
7-9 concert at school
9:15-3am - bio proj
fri
3am-6am - sleep
7:10-12:17 - school / get out early
12:17 - 5:00 - random final work
5-5:30 - dress / shower
5:30-7 - picture crap
7-12 - prom
sat
12-12:30am - get ready for shore
12:30-1:45 - limo
1:45-6 - get sloppy
6-7 - sleep
7-8 - sober up (sort of)
8-7am (sunday...yes, 23 hours) - super-sloppy
sun
7-12pm - sleep
12-1 - drink a little more
1-2:15 - go home (pass out in back seat)
2:15-12 - fucken work
mon
7:10-2:41 - school / fight hangover
2:41-4 - get ready for dmb
4-5 - drive
5-6:30 - tailgate
6:30-12 - dave matthews concert
tues
12-6am - sleep
7:10-2:41 - school / sleep
2:41-5:30 - random work
5:30-8 - boys state meeting
8-12am - more work
wed
8-4 - bio please / skip school for proj
4-12am - final work / fuck me
thurs
12-6am - sleep like a baby
7:10-10 - useless brown class and band
10-11:05 - lose our debate miserably
11:05-2:41 - float through school in a daze
2:41 - eternity - SLEEP
59% sleep acquired compared to a week of healthy sleep
sleep = failed
school = failed
complete state of drunken sloppiness - aced it!
that's been my day...stressing about this week. i have a history video to film after school today...hopefully, we'll get it all done today. if not, my whole week is even more fucked...
frustration -- tues 5 june 2001
i am on edge today...not only did i completely bitch out matt this morning, but my friends called for a "free-for-all" for this weekend - meaning that each individual person has to obtain their alcohol for down the shore after prom...which fucken sucks. i contacted my source and should be getting it today, but i mean, that's another hassle i have to go through this week with all my final exam projects and plans for this weekend to get done. frustration. complete frustration. the shore is either gonna completely fall apart or totally come together...i'm betting on a catastrophe...
home sick -- monday 4 june 2001
i went home sick 2nd period today...stupid migraine. my dad is away on business...i really hate this cuz my mom and i don't get along and she tries to run the house like a dictator when my dad's gone. so we've been fighting pretty much ever since he left. last night was the dinner i mentioned for my church...it was surprisingly nice. the video was really funny, also. matt officially made my week...he dresses all punk and his hair has grown kinda long...but last night, he dressed like semi-preppy with khakis and a button-down shirt. i liked it...he didn't. oh well...he still gets the most recognition this week for that and for the nice fall he pulled in the lunchroom the other day. anyway, yeah, so, i really had a good time...except that my mom kept acting fake to all the other parents...like super-nice...i hate when she does that. i stayed after to clean up and talk with andrew...he was the director of the play and is probably the biggest role model in my life behind my dad. (i'd go into detail about me and him...but that entry would be endless) okay, so, my mom told me not to be late, but i got home at 11:30...which on a school night, isn't good. i got yelled at for that big time. when we were fighting, i told my mom how she was acting so fake at the dinner and she told me that she wasn't acting fake at all and that i was. i definitely wasn't acting fake. her reason was that i was laughing and having a good time with everyone...i told her that that's how i act when i am enjoying myself and feel comfortable around people. i told her i felt more comfortable with all the people from my youth group than i did at home...she took that as a translation of "i hate you". i couldn't tell, but i think she fell asleep crying last night. i didn't. i'm not heartless and evil - i just don't understand where she comes from most of the time. i know she's stressed out, but so am i...so is everyone. she blows things out of proportion a lot...like if my dad was home, she'd run to him and give some exaggerrated over-illustrated report of our fight. oh well. i'm not supposed to be online since i came home from school with a headache...yet it was necessary that i went outside and mowed the lawn...with a headache. logic runs thin at my house i guess...or maybe i'm retarded...whatever, i rarely understand what my parents do...
kidnapped! -- sunday 3 june 2001
as if my life couldn't get any weirder...today, i awoke to find approximately ten blurry figures surrounding my bed. they were blurry cuz i didn't have my contacts in and cuz i had a hangover. they kept saying stuff to me like "wake up!" and "you have five minutes to get ready!" i kept thinking "what the fuck...i'm dreaming" but no,...i wasn't. "is that a camera?" i asked...and sure enough, it was. see, i was in this play at my church called jesus the healer (i was john the baptist)...i'm not a jesus freak or anything, but i went to a retreat at my church one time and they've sucked me in ever since. that's a poor way of putting it, cuz i really and truly enjoy everything we do there and all the people i've met through it. so, yeah, we are having a dinner tonight for this play, like all the cast, the directors, etc etc...well, these people hovering over me this morning were some of the adults (well, like in their 20s...so, technically 'young adults') who put together the play with us along with some other kids they had already woken up. what a shitty trick to pull on a guy...sunday morning...hungover. anyway, i figured i'd laugh later and got up while they all had smiles on their faces. soon enough, i was in a car and we were on our way to the next house...this went on for a good hour or so until we got to our director's house and woke him up - he, i guess, was the culmination of this whole ordeal. so, yeah, this video from this morning is going to be shown tonight at the dinner...beautiful...utter embarassment in front of everyone and their families...just what i live for. ok, so i'll stop be so sarcastic, cuz i've got to say that the kidnapping idea is pretty funny and i'm sure i'll find myself pulling it on kids in years to come. some of the kids we woke up were really dumbfounded and stunned when we got them out of bed...everyone looked like crap...it was funny...honestly. what pissed me off the most was that all our parents were in on it and had been notified before this was to take place...bastards. ok, well, as for last night...weird-ass night, man. there was like a crew of us...lemme count, like...ten of us...went to some kid's house in west orange where he sold some of the kids i was with pot and then they smoked it...then, let's see, we went to verona to some gay-ass party...haha, then the dad came home and the kid must've gotten an ass-beating, so yeah...hmm, then we went to some girl's house in north caldwell...we drank the last of her malibu...yeah, that's where the hangover came into effect. the funniest thing happened...this girl, michelle, she has two dogs, one oaf-y one and one little shitter priss thing. well, the oaf really liked kevin for some reason and kept humping him and then chased him all around the house...ahh, classic. that's been my weekend thus far...can't wait to see that video tonight...
blah -- saturday 2 june 2001
today sucks...figures that since yesterday seemed to be shaping up to be a good day, it was just destined that today would be shaping up to suck. i took three sat IIs this morning...count em - three. writing was easy, bio wasn't as bad as i had expected...us history kicked my ass. i'm kinda pissed about that one. so, last night, i couldn't stay out late cuz of these stupid tests today. i went over brian's and we played guitar for a while, sang two originals and then did a version of "all along the watchtower"...sounded pretty good, maybe we'll perform somewhere soon. mike had gone to the baseball game and didn't tell me, so yeah, i wasn't with him last night like i had planned...i went to the powder puff game with brian instead. it sucked. we sat on the bench eating pizza with the benched girls until random seniors came over with shaving cream and we had to run. we won at least - 6 to 0. woo-hoo...ok, well i am supposed to go out with my prom date ariel tonight...but since our plans always seem to fall through, i'm not relying on that too much. i shouldn't say that cuz we both are usually busy...but i dunno, i wish i knew her better...it seems like i knew her better before i asked her to prom. we're just friends and all, but maybe i'm just looking at prom as something bigger than it really is. if i don't go out with her tonight, my friend christine from verona asked me, mike, and james to chill...we'll see if i actually get to do that...i'm in a shitty mood and listening to counting crows isn't helping being that adam duritz is a manic depressant. regardless, his lyrics are really interesting and he is one of the best songwriters out there...i wish i could write something half as good as him...not half as depressing, but half as good at least...
tgif -- friday 1 june 2001
ok, well today's shaping up to be a sweet-ass day. i usually don't have many days i can rant and rave about, but today has definitely been a weird and funny one so far. it started this morning when i went to pick up matt for early gym. after beeping my horn a few times, andy pulled up next to me and told me we didn't have gym this morning cuz our teacher wouldn't be there. i had totally forgotten. and so had andy and so had matt...and we all were ready at 7 am. so we went to get bagels for breakfast and as i was pulling out of the lot, some pyscho lady thought when we were laughing, we were laughing at her or something, and she gave me the finger and followed my car, frantically honking at me...it was really freaky, matt and i concluded she was definitely jacked up on some drugs. so, anyway, before we went to school, andy picked up his camera. here comes the best part: at lunch, we set up the video under a sweatshirt to hide it (they are illegal in our school or something)...then we paid matt some money to get the most digusting food at our cafeteria. as he walked back to the table, he deliberately fell and threw his lunch tray ahead of him. we all cracked up and the lunchroom sat around all surprised...i think it was totally quiet with the exception of the laughter at our table...i really couldn't tell cuz all i could hear was our cackling. we had gotten it all on tape - like jackass-style or something. it was hilarious. it was beautiful. matt has balls. i'd never do that. andy joked yesterday saying i wouldn't be the one to do it cuz i can't risk to ruin my image at school...whatever that means. matt's an underrated kid - when i hear people talk about him, it makes me really glad when they say something good for some reason...people don't say enough good stuff about each other these days. it's a cryin shame. so, yeah, we even got it on film when matt mopped up the mess in front of the whole lunchroom...classic. what else...hmm...i went to the nurse during spanish cuz i just didn't wanna be there and now i'm in journalism...fun. tonight is powder puff. mike reminded me that i had some bacardi left in my car. he wants to drink it before we go cheerlead...we'll see...i can't get fucked up really cuz i have sat IIs tomorrow. yeah, another fun thing to look foward to...
my first day -- thurs 31 may 2001
ahh...my first day...so i'm dan-o, and i'll be writing here as often as possible to talk to about...well, me. i will probably bitch and moan. i will probably talk about useless crap. i will most likely ramble...a lot. but as long as you are here, you are going to have to listen to it all...so let's start this one like any other entry. today, i woke up and kinda wished it was the weekend again. i went down to my shore house with my friends james and mike - here is our cycle down there: wake up, go to the beach, spend the whole day being lazy, get some dinner at some place to eat, go get wasted, go to the club, go to the beach or back to someone's dock...or if you get a girl...umm, well, yeah that's your own business where you go...and then you go to sleep, wake up, fight hangover, and repeat. sound good? i thought so. so, i woke up today thinkin about that and thinkin about summer...i think about summer a lot cuz i have the best time of my life when school's out and i'm down the shore. but my dad kept trying to wake me up...he bitched at me like 3 times before i reluctantly got up and went in the shower. after that, i drove to matt's to pick him up and bring him to school. i had to lay on the horn for a while cuz matt is a mess and when i roll over to his house, he's probably still asleep. i didn't mind though - i was listening to this really twisted song, "tonight is the night i fell asleep at the wheel" by barenaked ladies...it's morbid and cheery at the same time...really twisted...but i like it. anyway, school went kinda fast today (with the exception of spanish but that's a whole other story altogether). andy is bringin in his video camera tomorrow to film stupid shit in school so that should be cool. tomorrow is also powder puff at my school - the girls play football, the guys r cheerleaders...so yeah, i'm a cheerleader tomorrow - my jersey has the #3 and it says "you want me" on the back. i went to mcdonald's after school with my friend john and i saw the big picture of grimace (you know, the big purple mess thing). well, i kinda stared at it for a while and wondered what the fuck it was...i concluded it probably symbolized the fat content of mcdonald's food, but i didn't let it bother me and i had some fast food goodness with john. john has got to be one of the best friends i've made this year...we met through our church group and he's really an interesting kid. he's a sophomore. i'm a junior. he started talkin to me about how he doesn't want to go to summer school and if he has to, he's not goin to anyway...but i have faith in him, i think he'll pull some shit these next two weeks so he won't fail another class. he seems to listen to me and ask me about personal stuff a lot, so it's cool. well, i guess that's it for today...i have to write a paper on desert storm soon...that should be fun...